Memories Resurfaced
by Invader Nicole
Summary: I don't want to remember anymore, I want to forgot' were the thoughts of the blonde mage, oblivious to the swordsman that wanted to reach out and help him. FaixKuro. Memories from Fai's past still haunt him, Kurogane tries to help his friend.


Hello readers and writer's, I'm Invader Nicole and probably known in Japan as Niko-ru since they don't use l's there! Yeah . . . that intro sucked. Anyway, this is my first Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle fic and I hope you guys like it. It's a little angst/romance between Fai and Kurogane with some painful memories for our blonde mage. Takes place at the end of volume five. Please enjoy. -Invader Nicole

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle or RG Veda, they're both owned by Clamp.

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"Memories Resurfaced"

Chapter One: Dwelling on the Past

By Invader Nicole

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"I'm so sorry," Sakura said as she stood and closed her eyes to her friend that lay on the bed, studying books to find the next feather, her memory.

"Princess?" Syaoran asked his friend, noticing her crestfallen look. Why was she sad? Why was she apologizing?

Sakura lifted her eyelids a bit, Syaoran saw the confusion and pain in her usually happy emerald eyes "When I woke up I didn't understand anything! And when you told me that we we're traveling to gather my missing memories . . . I said "You're doing this for a total stranger?" We aren't total strangers. I mean . . .you're risking your life and getting wounded, just to help me find my memories. You're up studying and trying so hard . . . you've done so much! I'm sorry!" Sakura said as she sat on the bed next to her friend from long ago, the one she couldn't remember at all, one that was and at the same time wasn't a stranger to her.

"Princess Sakura!"

"Syaoran-kun, when did you and I meet? Could you have known me since we were little? Could you be a very important person to me . . ."

Sakura stopped as she was swiftly hit by a mysterious force, the questions she asked Syaoran forgotten as she fell into his arms.

"Princess!" Syaoran looked into the familiar green eyes, filled with despair as he saw they clouded over for a few seconds then went back to their clear self, this time filled with sadness as she looked at him.

"What . . . was I saying just now? I remember . . . wanting to apologize for something . . ."

"What was that?" came the question from the red-eyes fuedal swordsman as he stood at the ajar door of Syaoran's room, his question directed to the blonde mage that stood next to him.

"A fair price . . . is nothing to be trifled with," Fai reminded Kurogane as an image of Yuuko opened in his mind, knowing she would say something similar to that. It seemed all too familiar, remembering that was the deal she and Syaoran made when he asked her help and accepted the price.

"Even if someone were to tell Sakura-chan about her relationship with Syaoran-kun . . . that information will soon vanish from Sakura-chan's memory. Even if Sakura-chan were to remember it herself, the same thing will occur. Syaoran probably already knew . . . that would happen." Fai's said as the image of Yuuko was replaced by Syaoran standing in the rain, his kudan by his side as he recalled Sakura asking who we was.

Fai's usually brilliant blue eyes clouded over with reality, half covered by heavy lids and smile disappearing as he continued. "Even as we find Sakura's feathers and return them to her . . .and even if a question of her relationship with Syaoran-kun comes up . . . a price, once paid, cannot be returned."

"But even so, when he says he'll do it, he does it. That's Syaoran for you." Fai said, a small smile appearing on his lips as he knew what he said was true. Kurogane nodded, agreeing and knowing Fai was right as he listened to Sakura and Syaoran.

"Someday . . . I'll get all of my memories back. Then I'll remember everything about Syaoran-kun . . . I'm sure of it!" Sakura thought to herself as she drifted to sleep, resting in the warmth of Syaoran's lap.

"Even if you never remember me . . . I'll make sure you get all of your memories back." Syaoran said to Sakura's sleeping form, eyes filled with determination as he stared at the one he loved.

Kurogane and Fai took one final glance at the younger two of the four before silently walking back to their room. It was well past midnight and not a single light was on in the house nor could any shine through the windows of the cafe. Fai led the way to the room they shared, having memorized the path to it since he and Sakura decided to stay an work at the cafe while Syaoran and Kurogane hunted oni. Kurogane followed him, easily walking behind the platinum blonde hair that seemed to glow in the darkness until they reached their room. He noticed it was quiet for once, too quiet.

"Hey, where's the white pork bun?"

"Hm? Mokona's there, in your bed," Fai answered the swordsman as he pointed to the small white body of Mokona Modoki, it's breathing light signaling he hadn't heard the two come in and was still fast asleep.

"And where the hell am I supposed to sleep then!" Kurogane yelled at the mage, stomping towards his bed and ready to throw Mokona off. He was stopped by a pair of long, thin arms holding him back. "Let go of me."

"No! Let Mokona rest, he's already asleep."

"Then let him sleep in your bed! It's bad enough he hides in my clothes all the time and he always eats my food, I don't need to be sharing a bed with him as well." Kurogane growled as he tried in vain to free himself from Fai, remembering he was strong in battle even if he never said he fought before.

"Then sleep in my bed, Kuro-rin."

"Stop calling me those stupid nicknames! And I'm not sleeping in a be with you either! I'd rather sleep outside then with either of you two, you both drive me equally crazy!"

A look of pain crossed Fai's features before his eyes narrowed at the black-haired man. "Then you really are a dog, Kuro-woof, if you want to seep outside as a dog does. I was correct in giving you the name 'Big Puppy'."

"Quit treating me like I'm some kind of dog!"

"Then stop being stubborn and get in the bed! It's stupid to sleep outside, you could get sick! And waking Mokona will only tire him tomorrow, he said the feather was weak but nearby, we don't need him being half-asleep as we look, now do we!" Fai half-yelled to Kurogane, shocking the swordsman since he never once saw the mage angry.

"Fine then . . . " Kurogane said as he pulled of the white top of his hamaka and put on a black t-shirt, leaving that and the wide black pants to sleep in. He turned to see Fai walk into the bathroom, closing the door and hearing the lock shut. Kurogane picked the left side of the bed, close to the nightstand and away from the right-side wall, a large window cast moonlight over the sheets as he wrapped them around his armor-less body.

Fai walked out of the bathroom, not wearing his cafe uniform of a white shirt, black pants and vest. Instead, he wore what Kurogane guessed was from Seresu since it seemed much similar to the clothes he first saw Fai in when they met. Black pants and a long-sleeved white shirt with intricate blue patterns running over the whole shirt. Fai left his clothes on a nearby chair and climbed under the sheets on the right side of the bed noticing he was staring at walls. He didn't like to sleep while facing walls, they reminded him of being trapped and seeing no way out. They reminded him of bloody walls, the blood that belonged to . . . "I'm sorry."

"Hm?" Kurogane asked, his back still turned to the back of Fai.

"I'm sorry, Kurogane-san."

Kurogane was shocked to hear his name come from the mage with no silly, girly nickname attached to it, with an honorific no less. Something was troubling the mage. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for calling you things you don't wish to be called. And sorry for forcing you to stay in this bed. You can have it if you want, I really don't need any sleep," Fai said as he began to climb out of the bed. He was stopped by a strong wrist wrapped tightly around his own thin wrist.

"Just go to sleep already, we have a long day tomorrow and we don't need you being tired. Beside, it's okay, really."

Fai nodded and sunk back into the covers of his bed, bringing them up to his chin. He was used to being covered in more than one layer of cloth since he living in Seresu was a very cold place and he often wore layers of clothing. His night clothes and a bed sheet wouldn't do. He shivered slightly, still feeling cold even though it was spring time in the town of Ooto.

"Fai?"

Fai turned slightly to see Kurogane had turned himself around, staring at the back of Fai as he shivered. "Yes, Kurogane?"

"What did you mean back then, before we went to the town of Jade?"

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that dimension with fog and a lake, how Syaoran found the fish scale and Sakura insisted she'd help out before she passed out from exhaustion?"

"Yes, I remember," Fai nodded, wondering where this was going.

"I remember . . . you said, 'We don't have to dwell on painful moments. We won't be able to forget them, even if we wanted to.' What did you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said, that we shouldn't remember the bad memories even if we really wanted to, no matter what."

"But Sakura's memories are gone, she's forgotten them."

"And they're being returned to her, slowly. And those memories aren't bad, yes she can't remember Syaoran, but he's still trying to get back all her memories even though he knows she'll never remember him." Fai said as he continued to stare at the wall.

"Still . . . what painful memories do you dwell on? Which painful memories do you remember, but try to forget?"

Fai froze, he never expected Kurogane to ask him anything about his past or his life in Seresu. "No painful memories, Kuro-run. I just said that to cheer Syaoran-kun up, he was worrying about Sakura-chan's feathers again."

"Liar. Look me in the face and tell me you don't have any painful past memories. Memories you don't want to have, but do."

Fai blinked in confusion and froze, not sure of what to do. He knew Kurogane wouldn't leave him alone until he turned to face him, might as well if he wanted to sleep tonight. He saw that Kurogane's blood-red eyes' were narrowed at his own pale, blue ones, trying to find any hint of dishonesty.

"Well?"

"I was right, your lying to me. Why?"

Fai scowled, Kurogane was really getting on his nerves. He dropped the clues less act and glared back. "I don't have to tell you anything about my past, that's my business alone, not yours. Now good night, Kuro-san," Fai said as he faced the wall again, now miserable for being angry with the swordsman. He shut his eyes from the wall and everything around him, trying to block out the memories that tried to break through.

Kurogane sighed, he was only trying to better know the mage and help, instead he angered him. Kurogane had done what he thought was impossible, he made the mage so mad at him that now he didn't even want to look at him. He then noticed the shivering coming from the blonde, the covers shook slightly under the lithe form of the smaller man. Kurognae looked around the room, using his trained eyes to look for what he searched. He found it, Fai's coat, hanging off a nearby chair. Kurogane got up, took the coat, and draped it over Fai's body before climbing back under the covers.

Fai's eyes snapped back open as he felt warmer than before, his shivers having stopped. He noticed someone had covered him in his long white and blue patterned coat, Kurogane obviously. He turned his head slightly to see the almost asleep raven-haired man. He sighed, hoping he could trust Kurogane. "Her name was Kuyou . . . and his . . . was Ashura."

Kurogane nodded slightly, hoping to learn more about the secret past. He stopped though when the mage broke into silent tears, slowly trickling down his cheeks as he muttered things like "so much blood" and "I don't want to go back to Seresu." Kurogane didn't know what to do, he wasn't used to this sort of thing. He tried to remember what people did to Princess Tomoyo when she was upset.

Fai's whole body shook with sobs as he remembered a pair of golden eyes and the curse that came with them. Suddenly, he felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around him, holding him tightly to black cloth. He opened his tear-filled eyes to see Kurogane consoling him, feeling his hands pet the top of Fai's head as he told him to stop crying, that everything would be okay. He leaned into the swordsman, sighing peacefully after a few minutes. "Thank you, Kuro-san."

"Kuro-rin, or run, or whatever."

"Huh?" Fai asked as he stared back at the slightly blushing Kurogane.

"You can call me those nicknames or whatever you want from now on, I give you permission."

Fai smiled brightly, memories from the past disappearing as he thanked his friend and traveling partner again, before nuzzling into his black shirt and drifting off to sleep, still entangled in the arms of the fuedal-Japan person. Kurogane breathed in, glad that he had calmed down the distressed mage. That was the first time he had ever seen Fai crying, so sad, so . . . broken.

"What are you hiding, Fai? What secrets do you hide that you cry yourself to sleep just by remembering them?" Kurogane asked the already asleep Flowright, deciding he would ask another time. He knelt back onto his pillow, still holding onto the body of his friend as he felt the light breathing coming from the blonde.

"Good night, Fai-san."

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End file.
